It can be as effortless as a stroll through your local town, engaging with nature, or mindfully spending time at home with fresh, creative perspective.

What might a self-care staycation of your own design include? Whether you set aside a few hours or an entire day, solo or with a friend, here are some suggestions:

Plant a container garden with tulips. Bike down an unfamiliar side street. Hike along a trail in the woods. Picnic. Hear the song of a returning bird. Find shapes in the clouds. Learn from a tree. Nap. Journal.

Try a recipe that inspires you. Really taste your food. Choose a new fruit or vegetable to cook with. Sip tea from a beautiful cup. Drink water infused with mint, cucumber and lemon. Refine your diet. Cleanse. Indulge.

Explore your neighborhood commerce, imagining that each storefront is a present to be opened. Notice the feeling you get simply by crossing the threshold. Welcome hellos.

Browse bookshelves. Select a hand-poured candle for your bedroom. Slather yourself with luxurious hand cream that smells like green grass. Find an object you love for display in a prominent place. Paint your toes Nude Beach pink.

Join the exercise class that’s been calling your name. Practice yoga. Meditate. Get massaged. Dance and make music. Straighten your spine. Brighten your smile. Love your body.

Indulge in “earring therapy” and support a local artisan. Treat yourself to an art class or mind-expanding workshop. Mold clay. Grab your camera in search of imagery that makes your heart flutter.

Take deep cleansing breaths of sweet spring air, and with each exhalation, be open to receiving abundance.

The post The Springtime Self-Care Staycation appeared first on First Date Stories.

Dear Angela,

A time for new beginnings, January provides the opportunity to look at yourself with a fresh perspective: to continue what’s working, re-examine what’s not, and implement new strategies designed to support where you want to go next.

It’s the perfect moment to ask yourself wisdom-revealing questions such as:

• Who am I when I’m my best self?
• What am I proud of?
• What am I grateful for?
• How can I bring more joy into my life?
• What do I need to do for my self-care?
• What truly nourishes my body and soul?
• What (and who) is draining my energy?
• What is enough for me?
• What is my heart truly yearning for?

With these valuable self-discoveries, you can then put them into practice, setting intentions that will guide your actions purposefully. Pick a theme for the year that underscores your intentions as a friendly reminder of what you want for yourself. It is helpful to create a framework to map out your daily habits, short and long-term goals.

Let’s talk about those daily habits. Choose 10. From the moment you awaken, what easy, simple practices will make you smile and fortify you throughout the day? Please make yourself a priority even if life around you is pulling you off course. Try these or invent your own:

• While still in bed, stretch from your toes to your nose.
• Give yourself a huge hug.
• Take three deep cleansing breaths.
• List three goals for your day.
• Look out your window and observe nature.
• Use aromatherapy. Inhale peppermint oil to stimulate your senses.
• Light a candle.
• Meditate
• Listen to your favorite song or make a morning playlist.
• Take a longer bath or shower.
• Drink a steamy cup of tea or coffee.
• If you can, make time for yoga, a walk outside, or a visit to the gym.

And where there’s celebration, there are gifts, starting with YOU. Take a moment to acknowledge yourself and accept yourself where you are right now. The present is perfect even if it doesn’t always feel that way.

Lastly, what gifts can you give yourself that will start the New Year with you as its focus? A nurturing massage, a transformative retreat, taking a class/learning a new skill, partnering with a helping professional, finding a hangout where you can meet new friends?

Whatever it is, you deserve it all. May this be your happiest of New Years yet.

The post Jumpstarting You appeared first on First Date Stories.

But what happens to the Self when in service to the needs of others? While potentially gratifying, it is a delicate balancing act to be a giver without prioritizing your unmet needs, the distinction between Selfish and selfish.

To be Selfish is to fill your well, to be the first to breathe the oxygen, to have a self-care routine that nurtures the mind and body and heart, to step beyond your comfort zone and try something new. It’s about being honest, asking deep questions that reveal personal truths. It’s about being open and explicit so that others can give you exactly what you need and when you need it.

To be Selfish is knowing how to feel worthy, welcomed, heard, uplifted, confident, rooted, inspired, mindful, flowing, powerful, supported, celebrated. It’s about accepting your full package, even the parts that need work.

It’s about being in the most intimate of relationships, bathing in self-love before freely bestowing it upon others. There is nothing more appealing than a woman who honors herself, who embodies enoughness.

There is freedom that comes with enoughness-an acceptance of reality, a rendering of others’ perceptions as irrelevant, of not having to fit into molds, or meeting (or not meeting) expectations. It’s the piece that’s necessary before entering into relationships with others, before risking vulnerability and trust.

It’s about carefully listening to your herstory, the one you tell yourself and others, and knowing if it’s still the one that serves you. And if it’s not, what is your new narrative that’s consistent with your vision and the roadmap to being the woman that the world is waiting to greet?

It’s about embracing yourself as an awesome single woman, fully engaged in a meaningful life of your creation. You decide who’s in your innermost circle. You make things happen. You heal.

If, or when, you choose to put yourself out there again, you re-emerge with a confidence that shines from the inside out, ready to try on new relationships, welcoming commitment.

Congratulations. Your time has come.

Researcher and author Brené Brown writes in her blog On Midlife,

“There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through you. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen.”

For those times when enoughness doesn’t feel like enough, Selfish is building a support team of your choosing to provide you with resources, strength and wisdom uniquely tailored to your needs. And sometimes, a bright new lipstick or cozy sweater is just enough, too. Always remember that you are enough!

The post You’re Enough appeared first on First Date Stories.

Hi Anne,

First, congratulate yourself for making self-care a priority. Then look in the mirror at your beautiful self, smile and take a few deep breaths, then find a way to keep your daughter occupied so you can have some dedicated you time.

If you don’t already have a meditation practice, try this simple exercise while standing or sitting: on the inhale, breathe in a positive word of choice [peace, energy, joy, love, fun, freedom, sexy, relaxation, ocean…] and exhale your challenge [stress, fear, anxiety, doubt, pain, baggage…] Close your eyes, concentrate and repeat for one minute or until you feel a sense of release.

Recite a mantra, an affirmation repeated to inspire and motivate you and focus your mind. Write it down on post-it notes and put them in places to remind you again and again of your intention. For example, “I am ready to….”

If you can, take a bath sprinkled with lavender essential oil for further de-stressing. If you cannot, dabbing a few drops of oil on your wrists and inhaling deeply works magic too. Lighting a candle is another good way signal to yourself that this is your sacred time.

Listening to the perfect playlist will also help get you into your desired frame of mind. Do you want to feel blissed out, sultry or radiating happiness? Search for the songs that suit your mood. Walking on Sunshine? Yoga chants? Feelin’ Love by Paula Cole is downright steamy.

Knowing what you will be wearing ahead of time can also relieve some pressure. Pick out a few outfits the night before to give yourself easy options when it’s time to dress for your date. Keep your wardrobe in ready-to-wear condition––clean, well-fitting and stylish––so you have go-to items that make you feel confident.

If you’re still not in your happy place, perhaps a glass of wine will take you there. Be mindful of moderation so that you show up being your very best self. Cheers!

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