Breathe First

My days are busy. I’ve got a demanding job and a young daughter. I feel like I’m running all the time, but I don’t want to show up at a date all stressed. What are a few things I can do that will help me take it down a few notches before a first date? – Anne

Hi Anne,

First, congratulate yourself for making self-care a priority. Then look in the mirror at your beautiful self, smile and take a few deep breaths, then find a way to keep your daughter occupied so you can have some dedicated you time.

If you don’t already have a meditation practice, try this simple exercise while standing or sitting: on the inhale, breathe in a positive word of choice [peace, energy, joy, love, fun, freedom, sexy, relaxation, ocean…] and exhale your challenge [stress, fear, anxiety, doubt, pain, baggage…] Close your eyes, concentrate and repeat for one minute or until you feel a sense of release.

Recite a mantra, an affirmation repeated to inspire and motivate you and focus your mind. Write it down on post-it notes and put them in places to remind you again and again of your intention. For example, “I am ready to….”

If you can, take a bath sprinkled with lavender essential oil for further de-stressing. If you cannot, dabbing a few drops of oil on your wrists and inhaling deeply works magic too. Lighting a candle is another good way signal to yourself that this is your sacred time.

Listening to the perfect playlist will also help get you into your desired frame of mind. Do you want to feel blissed out, sultry or radiating happiness? Search for the songs that suit your mood. Walking on Sunshine? Yoga chants? Feelin’ Love by Paula Cole is downright steamy.

Knowing what you will be wearing ahead of time can also relieve some pressure. Pick out a few outfits the night before to give yourself easy options when it’s time to dress for your date. Keep your wardrobe in ready-to-wear condition––clean, well-fitting and stylish––so you have go-to items that make you feel confident.

If you’re still not in your happy place, perhaps a glass of wine will take you there. Be mindful of moderation so that you show up being your very best self. Cheers!