For many single women, February can be a time filled with dread. After the winter holidays, it can seem like a bad hangover and a reminder that you aren’t where you’d like to be.
Valentine’s Day (and the whole month of February) is potent because it is filled with the intention of unconditional, romantic love. Hundreds of millions of people around the world are celebrating this day – children in schools, parents, and even lovebirds.
Rather than avoiding or resenting this month, I invite you to view it differently – as an opportunity to heal, open your heart and set an intention to invite your dream relationship into your life.
You may wonder, “How can I do this when I frikkin’ can’t stand all the annoying Kay’s ads and cheesy teddy bears everywhere – and my friends are happy with their beloveds??”
If you’re intent on consciously using this time to call in your beloved, here are seven ideas:
1. First, set an intention to clear out things in your life that don’t serve you anymore. Toxic relationships, clutter in your home, energetic chords and items from exes… just let them all go, gently. It doesn’t need to be an overnight process – just begin!
2. Practice gratitude for the love that’s already flowing into your life. Gratitude is the most powerful energy for receiving grace and attracting what you desire in your life. Every morning, begin to say out loud what you’re grateful for – your apartment, food, parents, health, your body, your intelligence, your work, your friends, your heart… anything! You can even be grateful that you’re not in an unhealthy romantic relationship – really a huge blessing.
Gratefulness sets you up for being open to receiving – and remembering that your life is a gift. If you can live in that space, you’ll feel a heart opening.
Another powerful practice: At night, you can write in a journal a list of 10 incidents that occurred that day that provide evidence that you are, indeed, loved. A smile from a stranger, a compliment on your jacket, a puppy that you played with, a girlfriend who reached out to you, your mom calling to check in on you. In fact, I would urge you to do this every day for 30 days – you’ll start to program your subconscious (as you sleep) about how worthy and deserving you are of love – which is one of our biggest blocks.
3. Consciously begin to date and love yourself.
You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. – Buddha
This month, do beautiful things for yourself and your spirit. Write a love letter to yourself, organize a girls night for pampering and adoring yourselves (and each other), go on marvelous self-dates to an exhibit you’ve been wanting to see or an ecstatic dance party. Look in the mirror each day, at your face and naked body, and tell yourself how beautiful, loving, kind and cherished you are. Send yourself roses, or take a rose petal bath.
When you notice a critical thought come up about yourself, think, “Ok, even if I think I am not enough (or whatever is arising), I love, accept and forgive myself.” Use this as a constant mantra throughout your day. You will begin to heal your negative self-talk, slowly and steadily – a huge block for women around love.
Be intentional about it and recognize that this is hard work – you’re basically going against (and healing) all this programming of caring for others and seeking others’ validation and love.
Remember: The world is your mirror – the way you love yourself, is the way the world will love you.
4. Cherish your loved ones, serve others, or do random acts of kindness. This is a powerful month for being your most loving self. I’ve found that when I do something kind for someone (especially anonymously!), I feel so incredibly powerful and loving. Random acts of kindness, like buying coffee for the person behind you, feeding a hungry animal, getting groceries for a neighbor, volunteering at a shelter, making dinner for your loved ones, or offering to babysit for your busy sister, will win you many brownie points in the Love Bank. Send a love note to your parents or siblings. You will feel so incredibly radiant and loving.
5. Make a vision board around what you want to create in your life. This is a great activity to do with your girlfriends. Get magazines, scissors, glue and a sturdy white poster and find images and words of things you want to manifest in your life, including your partnership, family, hobbies, career or wild dreams. Make a fun collage on your board and explain your vision to others when you’re finished. There’s really no wrong way to do this. Looking at the board will program your subconscious mind to filter in (and attract) what you desire.
6. When you notice jealousy arise, breathe, love yourself, and BLESS the person who has what you yearn for. Jealousy is natural and is a great indicator for what we desire. When you notice it, rather than feeling ashamed – which is our normal tendency – just breathe and acknowledge the envy. As women, we’ve been conditioned to believe that there is a lack of good men (and general abundance), and that we need to compete in order to survive. While this may have been true for millennia, this need not be true anymore for us. There is a plethora of love waiting for you to be had!
Use the opportunity to understand and be in a state of desire (and breathe through the discomfort of the jealous), and bless the sister who has what you want. Also, bless the positive, healthy men in your life.
Blessing and appreciating others aligns you, energetically, with experiencing what they have.
7. Take an action that’s in alignment with your commitment to attracting love. Sign up for a course, work with a professional, or read books on dating and love. Get active in online dating (and ask a professional to help with your profile if you need it). The universe aligns with us when we’re committed and taking action!
Dear one, I want you to know that you are worthy of true love and living a passionate, fulfilling life full of meaning and joy.
Creating an intention to be your most loving self, and attract true love, is the most powerful thing you can do this month. Relish in, and be a part of the movement of love going around rather than avoiding it!
You’ll find that Valentine’s Day can be your springboard to lasting, extraordinary love.