ASK A COACH: I’ve been divorced for two years. How do I get myself ready to re-enter the dating world? -Laura
Getting ready to date after a divorce is not only potentially nerve-wrecking, but perhaps also exciting as well. After all, who knows what new possibilities you’re going to create in your life? You deserve to not only find Mr. Right, but also to enjoy the process of dating. It may seem daunting at first (depending on your dating experience before and also the nature of online dating now), but here are some steps I recommend:
- Before getting into dating, it’s important to be mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually prepared.
Have you spent enough time truly loving yourself and developed Self Love rituals? It may sound too ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ -like, but in my experience, it’s important to create a strong foundation within yourself – one that’s already happy and strong. Also, have you been able to heal from your last relationship, release baggage and cut energetic cords with your ex, so that you can begin a new relationship afresh? Do you have a somewhat amicable relationship with your ex? Have you learned what you needed to from the relationship and do your children feel loved and supported? Or do you still have loose ends in your divorce which could affect your dating experience?If you still have unresolved issues, or feel angry or bitter, it’s important to work with a therapist, life or dating coach or healer – someone you trust – to support you until you feel ready.
- Spend some time reading up on how to date, and connect with other women who are in your shoes to feel supported. The First Date Stories website and podcast is a great place to start and there are many books and even programs you can join to get to know the dating landscape better.
- Get out there and start meeting people! Whether it’s in a community service setting, at a singles event, or even online, it’s perfectly fine to get your feet wet, and go at a pace that you feel comfortable with.
Most of all, remember that you are an incredibly beautiful, kind, loving woman – any man would be lucky to be with you. You have the opportunity to date and meet many men. If you feel the pressure to find a mate soon, just know that it’s ok to take your time, to treat dating like a self discovery journey, and meet as many men as you would like to before committing to anyone. Feel empowered and have fun!
Here’s to love and abundance in your life,