Women are superheroes. All at once, it is possible to juggle multiple roles beyond your day job-daughter, sister, mother, friend, colleague, caregiver-all requiring an outpouring of energy, understanding, and love.
But what happens to the Self when in service to the needs of others? While potentially gratifying, it is a delicate balancing act to be a giver without prioritizing your unmet needs, the distinction between Selfish and selfish.
To be Selfish is to fill your well, to be the first to breathe the oxygen, to have a self-care routine that nurtures the mind and body and heart, to step beyond your comfort zone and try something new. It’s about being honest, asking deep questions that reveal personal truths. It’s about being open and explicit so that others can give you exactly what you need and when you need it.
To be Selfish is knowing how to feel worthy, welcomed, heard, uplifted, confident, rooted, inspired, mindful, flowing, powerful, supported, celebrated. It’s about accepting your full package, even the parts that need work.
It’s about being in the most intimate of relationships, bathing in self-love before freely bestowing it upon others. There is nothing more appealing than a woman who honors herself, who embodies enoughness.
There is freedom that comes with enoughness-an acceptance of reality, a rendering of others’ perceptions as irrelevant, of not having to fit into molds, or meeting (or not meeting) expectations. It’s the piece that’s necessary before entering into relationships with others, before risking vulnerability and trust.
It’s about carefully listening to your herstory, the one you tell yourself and others, and knowing if it’s still the one that serves you. And if it’s not, what is your new narrative that’s consistent with your vision and the roadmap to being the woman that the world is waiting to greet?
It’s about embracing yourself as an awesome single woman, fully engaged in a meaningful life of your creation. You decide who’s in your innermost circle. You make things happen. You heal.
If, or when, you choose to put yourself out there again, you re-emerge with a confidence that shines from the inside out, ready to try on new relationships, welcoming commitment.
Congratulations. Your time has come.
Researcher and author Brené Brown writes in her blog On Midlife,
“There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through you. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen.”
For those times when enoughness doesn’t feel like enough, Selfish is building a support team of your choosing to provide you with resources, strength and wisdom uniquely tailored to your needs. And sometimes, a bright new lipstick or cozy sweater is just enough, too. Always remember that you are enough!