It’s typical to approach dating in one of two ways. The first is from the “glass half full” mindset. You’re excited to start dating in the New Year and are anticipating at least one or two hot dates in the coming months. The second is from the “glass is half empty” point-of-view. You’re sad about not having a special someone and are dreading being in, or returning to, the dating world.
Chances are you’re most likely feeling a combination of both. Whichever side is more dominant, be sure to acknowledge both of them. Embrace the fact that dating can lead to endless possibilities and new beginnings. Try not to feel stuck in a rut and to convince yourself that there is no way to change your relationship status. Instead, take steps to make your desire a reality.
A key to finding love is to manage expectations. Unrealistic expectations will only create more problems and make it more difficult for you to find love. There are two common scenarios when it comes to expectation setting. On one hand, there are women who can never seem to find a relationship because the men never measure up to their expectations. They only see the man’s negative qualities and have trouble finding the positive qualities in their date.
On the other hand, there are women who start dating a man and by the third date they are already off traveling with their new beau and discussing a long-term commitment. The problem with this approach is that these women haven’t taken the time to really get to know the person they are dating. These relationships are unlikely to last long. Clearly, there are unrealistic expectations on both ends of the spectrum.
Whether you’re excited to date, or are filled with anxiety and dread, it’s important to put yourself out there and approach every date with an open mind and heart. If you’re looking to find “the one,” these five insights can help guide and motivate you.
1. You probably will not recognize your soulmate right away.
When you meet “the one,” you probably won’t experience a rush of hormones, butterflies, or the typical fanfare depicted in novels. You will only know him by a very gentle tug on the heart. Instead of looking for an instant attraction or “spark,” look for that gentle feeling inside and start by building a friendship without any expectations for something more. If he is really your soulmate, that will become obvious with time.
2. Relationships rarely, if ever, are as they appear in romantic movies and books.
Real people fall into real love slowly. Instead of a “happily ever after,” they live “fully ever after” and have a rich, full and healthy life together. Things take time, work, and effort. No relationship is as it appears on the big screen. So be sure to take a realistic approach as you are dating and meeting new people.
3. It takes years to really get to know someone.
Human beings are complex. People have many layers and sides to them and it can take a while – years even – to fully get to know someone. Give yourself time to be sure you are really learning all there is to know about your partner.
4. A relationship is a living being that needs love, care and space.
People tend to either be ignored, or get smothered, in relationships. Neither of these are great conditions for a thriving relationship. Healthy relationships need time, attention, and consistency.
5. Great relationships are completely worth the effort.
There is nothing like being in a supportive and loving relationship. A good, positive relationship is completely worth the effort. When you find the right one, you will be understood on a deep level – and he will love you despite all your flaws or eccentricities. This is one of the best feelings in the world.