The following is the transcript of this podcast episode.:
Jodi: Hi, Cheryle.
Cheryle: Hi there. How are you?
Jodi: I am great. It’s terrific to have you on the podcast today.
Cheryle: Well, thank you for having me.
Jodi: I’m very much looking forward to hearing all about your first date story. Before we get going with it, I would love it if you would share a little bit about yourself.
Cheryle: Yeah. I’m in my 60s and in media. I’ve been single and was a person who approached dating as an experience that could be fun and potentially have some long-term benefits.
Jodi: This date that we are going to talk about, how long ago did it happen?
Cheryle: I think I was about 50 when I met Joe. A girlfriend and I had crashed a speed dating party. They had a little cocktail party beforehand where I met Joe. The group went on to the speed dating deal. My girlfriend and I went to dinner. We came back and he said, “Well, I’m glad that you came back. I was looking forward to it. There wasn’t anybody interesting in the speed dating portion of the program.” So we set up a time to go on a date.
Jodi: You did? Wow! That was a very successful speed dating event….
Cheryle: For one not being in a speed dating event.
Jodi: Yes, for one not being in a speed dating event. That is really something! So this guy, you must have talked to him for a while during that cocktail party?
Cheryle: Yeah. We did. He seemed interesting. I wasn’t sure whether he’d be geographically desirable, as we sometimes call it since we have to commute too much, but he sounded pretty interesting. I said sure. What do you have to lose? So we made a plan for the date.
Jodi: How long transpired between the time you met him and the time you went out?
Cheryle: Not very long. I think it was probably some Tuesday nights speed dating deal. We made a date for that Friday.
Jodi: You did?
Jodi: Wow! He moved fast, or maybe you moved fast. (Laughter)
Cheryle: I know. I figured probably because both of us were in a dating environment, why go back and forth with email foreplay or something? Let’s just go ahead and have the date. (Laughter)
Jodi: All right! Before you went out on a date with him, when you were getting ready for the date and thinking about the date, do you remember how you’re feeling about it?
Cheryle: Yeah. I thought, “Oh, this guy may have some potential. He’s cute, he seems smart.” The fact that he was in a speed dating deal made me know that he was interested in going out. So, it wasn’t just like meeting somebody in a bar and you don’t really know what their situation is. You’re hoping that if this person is doing this (the speed dating) it’s because they’re interested in meeting somebody and going out on dates.
Jodi: That is a very good clue. Where did you meet him the night of the date or did he pick you up?
Cheryle: I actually met him — this is going to sound weird — at his apartment, because we were walking to a restaurant that was two blocks away. I literally knocked on his door and he came in the door. We walked over to a restaurant he had chosen in his neighborhood.
Jodi: Goodness! That is not the typical scenario that most of the time…
Cheryle: …A woman would be like, “What?”
Jodi: Right, going to the guy’s door and knocking on his door! You felt comfortable doing it? You trusted the guy?
Cheryle: Yeah. He just said, “Why don’t you come here? You can park in my building. It’ll be easier for us just to walk over.” So we did. He had picked the restaurant. It was a Korean restaurant, or something sort of ethnic and kind of unusual. I had a really nice time and I think both of us did not want the date to end. I suggested going to a wine bar for wine and dessert. I also offered to pay because I did not want it to become a situation where, “Let’s go here. Let’s go there and you keep picking up the tab.” You know? So we went to the wine bar and had a fun time. Then he said, “Well, why don’t we go shoot some pool?” We went and played pool and I beat him! (Laughter)
Jodi: You did? You beat him? (Laughter)
Jodi: How did that go over with him? How did he handle that?
Cheryle: I think it was fine. Afterwards, we walked back to his place because it was all sort of in the same general neighborhood, and he did kiss me good night. I said, “You know, this would be great to do again,” and he said the same thing. He was going to be going out of town on a little trip and said he would contact me.
Jodi: Did he contact you when he said he’d contact you within the week or so?
Cheryle: No. So then as women do, you start second guessing. So I thought, “Let’s see. I was fine with the restaurant he wanted to go to. I picked up the tab for the more expensive dessert and wine, so there couldn’t have been anything there.” So then I thought, “All right, is it because I beat him with pool?” I thought, “Well, if that’s the case, so be it, because I wouldn’t want to be around somebody like that anyway.” So, I waited for a couple of weeks and then I just kind of went on about my life. And then four months later I get a call at my office.
Jodi: Four months later?!
Cheryle: Yeah, four months. And he says, “Hello. This is Joe.” And I just started laughing.
Jodi: You didn’t say hi?
Cheryle: No. I just burst out laughing. And he said, “Oh, thank God because I was expecting you to hang up on me.” We talked and I didn’t even get into where were you or what happened because I figured he’d offer a little something. And as he said, “When I got back from the trip, I got caught up in other things and then it was three weeks and I thought, ’Well, that’s maybe too late.’ Then I thought about it again and then it was a month and a half.” So, I said, “Oh, so four months sounded like a great time to pick up the phone.” (Laughter)
Now it was, what did he have to lose, right? And I am kind of person who thinks, “What do I have to lose?” I could go out a couple more times. If he was a jerk, what difference does it make? It’s just life is an adventure and we ended up dating for two years. Crazy first date and second date, but worth going ahead and going forward with it.
Jodi: Looking back at that whole sequence of events, what did you take away from it?
Cheryle: I think that, rather than having your first response be “Who do you think you are?” or “Why would you think I would even take your call?” and all of those emotions that could easily come to the surface. I think being open-minded about you just never know what. What’s one more date? How much time does that take out of your life?
Cheryle: Because I think there’s probably plenty of people who ended up with people over a long period of time that have stories that are similar. They’re not all about beautiful prince charmings and things are wonderful from day one.
Jodi: Well, your day one with him– that was wonderful.
Cheryle: Yeah. Then there was date two. It was like, “What happened?”
Jodi: That date was SO delayed.
Cheryle: Right. But I think the key is having confidence in yourself and knowing you didn’t do anything wrong, because I think sometimes women have a tendency to go down that road to figure out why didn’t he call back. Like I said…..aside from beating him in pool….hey, if that’s the way he is, I’m not going to go out with a guy who is like that anyway We didn’t play pool ever again though, just for the record. (Laughter)
Jodi: There’s so much to be learned from your story. Thanks for joining us today.
Cheryle: Sure. Absolutely!