Sometimes taking a break is a good thing, especially when it comes to dating! Whether you were busy with work or taking time for self-care and reflection, the time off from dating can provide an energy boost and renewed hope and enthusiasm about the dating game.
First, check in with yourself. If you find yourself feeling jaded, tired or hurting from a past relationship, then you may not be mentally and emotionally in the right place to be dating. It is a good time to work with a coach or therapist to get clear on your desires and patterns and create a healthy mindset about dating.
To get the most out of dating, ideally you want to come from a place of abundance, tremendous self-confidence and having a clear vision for your life. Remember, your fulfillment comes from within, not from someone who will ‘complete’ you. Dating from a place of joy will make the process of dating feel less like a chore and more as an opportunity to get to meet different men and meet ‘the one’ in a healthy way.
If you’ve taken some time for self-reflection and creating a positive, radiant mindset, good for you! Here are some pointers for making the most out of dating when starting anew:
1. Create a new, outstanding profile for yourself rather than simply reactivating an old one.: A new you deserves a new lease on your dating life! If possible, use professional, beautiful photos of yourself, and get some help in writing a profile that really stands out. Your profile is the main way you’re communicating with the dating world about who you are and what you’re looking for – kind of like a resume. Why not put in the same amount of effort into your profile as you would into your career?
2. Create healthy, sustainable dating habits.: Take small, daily steps to move your love life forward. I generally recommend earmarking thirty minutes a day to communicate with men online – no more, no less. In this way, dating becomes an integral part of your life, and you aren’t consumed by it. During those thirty minutes, send fun, interesting messages to men, get on the phone, find a singles event or plan a date. Focus on the quality of your interactions, rather than quantity. For instance, if you’re only able to write to one or two men, but your messages are kind, funny and mindful, then that’s a great use of your time. Another healthy metric is carving out one to three evenings a week for dating – and if you’re not on a date – then use the evening to read a book on love, or date yourself!
3. Keep your old life going, but shift your priorities and carve out time for your love life.: Taking on a new life project, like parenting, starting a new job, learning a new hobby or buying a home is an investment of time. Each requires us to de-prioritize some things, and create time and space for the new endeavor. The same goes for love and dating. Much like Feng Shui principles, energy (and love) flows where there is balance and space for it. Be intentional with your time and energy, and have space for learning about love, improving your relationship skills, dating and inviting a new man into your life!
4. Create your support system: Let’s face it – dating is inherently vulnerable. We’re all creatures of habit and are afraid of rejection and getting hurt. However, dating is the most vital thing you could be doing to open your heart and create a loving partnership. It’s important to have a team of supporters on board – a coach, therapist, positive friends and family who understand you and who you can rely on when you’re needing a mindset boost, help you reflect on your dating patterns and to keep you focused on your mission – finding your soulmate.
At the end of the day, a break from dating can be a healthy thing you do for yourself – especially when it’s intentional. Remember, there are plenty of amazing men, and your future partner is looking forward to being with you too. So your mindset and openness to love matters!