The following is the transcript of this podcast episode.:
Jodi: Hello, Tracy. Welcome to the podcast.
Tracy: Thank you.
Jodi: We’re looking forward to hearing your first date story. Before you tell it to me and to the listeners, let’s talk about you. Please tell us a little bit about your story.
Tracy: Well, I am 50. I’ve never been married, but I have done a lot of dating. I am a big athlete. My favorite things to do are hiking, cycling and scuba diving, and I have been a talent agent for 10 years and am looking to move into a different arena.
Jodi: Now, for the date with Craig. Where did you and Craig meet?
Tracy: On OkCupid.
Jodi: Who contacted who?
Tracy: Well, he sent me an email introducing himself and that I should reach out if I was interested.
Jodi: What was it his email, or his profile, that struck you as intriguing?
Tracy: Well, I’m always a sucker and attracted to athletes and he was definitely very ripped, did a lot of different sports, and seemed quite confident.
Jodi: Did you two email back and forth for a while? Did you speak with him on the phone?
Tracy: We sent a couple of emails and then we moved to the phone which went quite well. He was a bit of a smart aleck, which I liked, and again that confidence was very attractive to me.
Jodi: Tell me more about the confidence. How did you pick up confidence in your interactions with him?
Tracy: Well, he had no problem asking me out. In the past I’ve gone through emails and phone conversations with men and nothing happens, you know? So, it was interesting to me that he was ready like right away to ask me out.
Jodi: And you were right away to say yes?
Tracy: Yeah. I feel that it’s a waste of time to go back and forth with emails and phone calls. I’d rather get to meeting the person in person.
Jodi: What date did he suggest you guys go on?
Tracy: Well, he knew I like hiking. So he was open to coming to my neck of the woods. We lived a bit apart and he suggested I choose a hiking trail. He’d come meet me and we’d go for a hike.
Jodi: What day of the week did the two of you go out on the hike?
Tracy: I believe it was a Friday and I was working from home. So, I had to fit the hiking in between a couple of conference calls.
Jodi: As the date approached, how were you feeling about it?
Tracy: Well, for some reason, I was getting a bit of cold feet and it might have been because of certain text exchanges. I’m not sure, but just something felt a bit off and I felt strapped for time and I actually wanted to cancel.
Jodi: You did? Did you cancel?
Tracy: I tried.
Jodi: You tried, but it didn’t work out?
Tracy: No. I texted him that I felt my calls were too close together and that I’d really like to reschedule. Then he texted back that he was very upset. He had set aside this time not only for his exercise but he had to drive from the other side of town. So he really had planned this and was not happy and felt it was very inconsiderate.
Jodi: How soon before the two of you were to meet? Did you send him your text?
Tracy: It was about two hours before.
Jodi: Oh! That was very close.
Tracy: Yes. So I was very aware that he was unhappy and I then change my call that was going to interfere to a little bit later. I still had limited time, but he was right. It was inconsiderate. I don’t want to be that person and I did make a commitment. I wanted to follow through. So, even though I wasn’t feeling it, I did agree to meet him. It was close and we were meeting in the parking lot below the hike.
Jodi: What happened when you got to the parking lot?
Tracy: He was already there, but I was on time. So, he was early. He got out of the car and he was wearing a tank top, and shorts. He was ripped! I was like, “Whoa!” It was a little intimidating. He was sitting in the side of his car with his legs out, strapping up his hiking boots. He looked like he was going to go for a really serious hike even though….I guess we were going for a pretty difficult hike.
Jodi: Was he a big athlete?
Tracy: Well, his background was the military. I found out later that he had been a Navy SEAL.
Jodi: What did you think when you learned that?
Tracy: Well, I realized during the hike that I had not chosen the appropriate hike for a first time date. We were out in the middle of nowhere. We didn’t see one passerby. Granted it was the afternoon on a Friday, but still, and he started to tell me about some of his missions. I had asked if he killed anybody and he said, “Tracy, I was a Navy SEAL. Of course, I’ve killed people.” I was like, “Oh!” He was very open with sharing some of his missions, which I thought was a little odd. I also got a bit uncomfortable.
Jodi: How long was the hike and how long did it take you to get to the top of the hill?
Tracy: It was about two hours.
Jodi: One hour up, one hour down?
Jodi: Were the two of you talking the whole time?
Tracy: Yes. We were walking very fast and talking the whole time.
Jodi: What was going through your mind?
Tracy: Well, I thought it was interesting that he wanted share all of that. I thought that would be something pretty private for a Navy SEAL and it was a bit too much information. There were definitely some moments when I preferred not to hear certain stories, but he was also inquisitive. He did ask personal questions as well. He made some comments about my physicality, which made me feel a little uncomfortable.
Jodi: Was there a beautiful vista at the top of the hike that the two of you enjoyed together?
Tracy: Yeah. We got to the top and there’s a great view of the ocean below and the mountains. It was a really beautiful hike. We hung out there for a little bit. He started to joke with me that I seemed a little nervous.
Jodi: Well, he’s a Navy SEAL. He’s trained to be very attuned to what’s going on around him. Was he right? Were you feeling a little nervous?
Tracy: Yes. And I was very honest with him and I said, “Yes, I do feel a little uncomfortable. We’re out here in the middle of nowhere.” And he said to me, “Why did you choose this hike?” And I said, “Because it was near my house. We have limited time. And it’s a nice hike. Do you like the view?” He’s like, “I do like the view!”
Jodi: How was the hike down?
Tracy: I was walking very fast and he even remarked, “You are walking very fast.” He did joke with me that I was walking so fast that I must be scared. He said, “You don’t have to be scared.”
Jodi: How tall was he?
Tracy: He was about 6’2”.
Jodi: And you?
Tracy: I’m 5’1”.
Jodi: And you are beating him down the hill?
Jodi: You must have been flying!
Jodi: What’s going through your mind?
Tracy: Well, I just wanted to get down and the good news was, I did feel like I knew the way. I probably could have beat him down because it was a little bit tricky. Yet at the same time, I’m sure he could’ve figured things out if he wanted to.
Jodi: What happened when you got to the bottom of the mountain?
Tracy: Well, I had driven us up. So, we got in my car. I’m zipping down the hill quite fast to the lot where his car is. He barely gets out of the door, grabs his stuff, or so I think, and I floor it to get out of there! I did wave, though. I was nice and waved goodbye. I pull out a little further and I see him running behind the car yelling. I stopped and he says, “Jesus! I left my socks in your car. You really want to get out of here, don’t you?” And I had to laugh. He had a lot of chutzpah to say that. So he got his socks and I am laughing. But I still did zip away quite fast after that.
Jodi: Did you get to your call on time?
Tracy: I did barely, but I did. And he made a comment. “Does this mean there’s not going to be a second date?” So, he was actually pretty funny. If I had been attracted to him, I may have wanted to go out again. But there is something about him that I just didn’t vibe with. But I did appreciate his gutsiness to just be very blatant and honest with everything.
Jodi: Did you hear from him again?
Tracy: I did, which I was surprised by. But he seemed like that type of guy that wouldn’t take no for an answer. He invited me to a rock climbing gym.
Jodi: Did you take him up on the invitation?
Tracy: I didn’t.
Jodi: What did you learn from this experience?
Tracy: Well, I really feel I should have trusted my gut because I was right. The reason I wanted to cancel…something just didn’t feel right…and I knew at the moment I met him that it probably wasn’t going to go somewhere. So my feeling is, just trust your gut. It wasn’t because he was in the military, or a Navy SEAL. Just energetically, we were not a fit.
Jodi: There wasn’t chemistry and it seems like you were questioning when you were out there in the middle of nowhere whether you were going to be safe.
Tracy: Yeah. I think it was more about the chemistry than anything else.
Jodi: Women’s intuition is very powerful.
Jodi: Thank you for sharing the story with us.
Tracy: You’re welcome. It’s been a pleasure.